December 2, 2020 04:12 PM RSS

Election Suddenly Comes Down To Fixing Suburban Toilets

  • Wall Street Rebel | James DiGeorgia
  • 10/20/2020 11:10 AM
Election Suddenly Comes Down To Fixing Suburban Toilets

Trump Motorcade heads to Carson City, Nevada!


During a rally in Carson City, Nevada, the United States President expanded his campaign strategy to attract suburban women voters to his platform. In what may seem like a move out of desperation, the President is campaigning again on a toilet referendum. The President of the United States traveled approximately 2,630 miles to rally undecided voters to the merits of not saving water in a desert environment.


Never has a president sought the approval of so many women by focusing his attention on a unilateral message of satisfying their true desire.  Forget for a moment that we are amid a deadly pandemic. We are experiencing an economic lull on a global level. The rose garden was destroyed by the first lady who needed to make her mark on history before November 3. The President seeks the approval and dramatic swing of an approving voter demographic (suburban women) by remedying the President's self-made toilet controversy and allocating no more water rationing.

                     10 Months ago - Trump says people are 'flushing toilets 10, 15 times'


Trump says people 'have to flush their toilet 15 times' in a weird campaign rally rant about water restrictions.  Never has an issue with so much bearing to so large of an electorate been so eloquently presented.

"I hate to say the three things. It's the shower, it's the sink, and you know, the third element in the bathroom. But I don't say it because every time I say it, they only talk about that one," he said, pointing towards a group of reporters.

"Because it's sort of gross to talk about, right? So I won't talk about the fact that people have to flush their toilet 15 times. I will not talk about it. I'll only talk about showers. But there are three things ... This way, they can't report it."

"So what happens, I called my people, environmental people: 'Why are we doing this?' Because when you wash your hands, it takes five times longer ... you get soapy, you can't get it off. I said, 'Open it up.' They said, 'What do you mean?' I said, 'Take the restrictors off.'"

He added: "You ever get under a shower and no water comes out? And me, I want that hair to be so beautiful."

President Trump’s desperation didn’t stop there. He sees himself as a man of all the people, and he especially understands women. ‘He knows just what women want.’

Trump was on a roll with his adoring public and since he knows what women want, he began…

"Go buy a dishwasher. I said, what's wrong with this thing? It doesn't clean the dishes right. The women come up to me, the women who they say don't like me -- they actually do like me a lot. Suburban women, please vote for me. I'm saving your house. I'm saving your community. I'm keeping your crime way down."

This makes sense in Trump’s understanding of the American way of life.

  • Women are, after all, “housewives.” 
  • These housewives don’t do very much except for household duties like doing the dishes and flushing the toilet upwards of 15 times.
  • Since Trump is the candidate that has dismantled the government's environmental protection arm and allowed water to move freely.
  • Suburban women are permitted to use unrestricted quantities of water because of him.
  • He is obviously the candidate they should be most beholden to, since he is the most responsible for saving their home and bringing them the finest appliances that use water the least efficiently.


                     Trump says women like him because he improved dishwasher pressure




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